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0MG WTF BBQ.

9:24 AM, a text wakes me up…

2014562710: Y do u hate me
me: :X sorry who’s this?
2014562710: Who do u think
2014562710: Ask one of ur friends
me: Are you sure you’ve got the right number?
2014562710: R u talkin to olivia b right now
me: No. I have no idea who that is. My name is jessica.
2014562710: Sorry wrong number

haha freaking teenage drama. this kid has to be in high school, who else would text someone that at 9 in the AM?

I want to BE this picture.

That is all.

Sky Blue Sky.

I had just turned off the light to my bedroom and was anticipating a tricky walk to my bed. My room is in the current state of a mess, with all my bags half unpacked and obstacles strewn throughout. Well (thankfully?) light was coming in through my blinds as I saw a blue sky through its cracks. Maybe it was good that I went to sleep at 5AM for absolutely no reason.

No, actually no. It’s all bad. I need to fix this sleeping schedule.

Saturday Morning.

Me: Hey Dad, I went to sleep last night around 1:30-2:00 and I still woke up at 12:00 today! Sleeping straight through.
Dad: Yeah. Oh, I ran a half marathon this morning.

Whhaaatt?? Ba ba ni hao crazy!

About a week ago, I called my mom and she said that my dad was getting really busy with work and spending a lot of time at the office. I called him at work to see how he was doing and he slipped this into the conversation:

“You know I ran a marathon last Sunday, right? 3:58. Yeah, it wasn’t too bad.”

I think he just likes to show off. And remind me exactly how lazy I am.

Time to Kill it, Time to Diet.

I was walking into Voorhees today and held the door open for the person behind me only to see that my longtime friend was walking in. She’d been walking behind me for a while but didn’t say anything, that is until we saw each other face to face:

“…Oh my God, you’re going to hate me. I saw you walking down but I was like… I know you have that jacket and I know you have that scarf but I didn’t think your ass was that big…”

Okay.

Excuse me while I go out for a 17 mile run, see you 53 pounds from now.

Buzzzzeeeddd.

On a caffeine buzz.

I bought a $3.75 bottle of Naked fruit drink today. I had no idea a 15.2 fluid ounce drink could cost that much; prices weren’t listed. I rationalized my purchase with the feel good facts of organic/all natural food trends: 14 strawberries, 1/2 golden kiwi, 2 1/2 apples, and 1/4 banana, all in one bottle! No sugar added!

Okay. This is also the “All Natural Energy Strawberry Kiwi Kick” flavor with 380 milligrams of Guarna, “a natural source of caffeine.”

Okay. I had to pee less than thirty minutes after starting to drink this drink. I couldn’t concentrate on taking notes and I certainly couldn’t look up at the projected slides and then down at my paper successively. I was dizzy and jittery and the world felt like it was moving in rapid stop-motion succession. (My Gothic Lit professor said to never use a thesaurus and I really cannot think of another word at the moment so there’s two forms of “succession” in two sentences, one succeeding the other. Hoho.)

Yeah, either this is particularly potent or I’m just a giant caffeine virgin. I don’t really drink coffee or tea so I guess that makes sense. Or are you not supposed to take caffeine on an empty stomach, like you’re not supposed to take drugs on an empty stomach? I don’t know.

Okay, bye.